Your mom found your girl name the other night. Her search pattern traversed cerebral longitudes and lattitudes never considered by Gallileo or Stephen Hawking. Her eyes scanned documents yellowed from archaic dust and those humming with a futuristic neon glow. Her methods, both expansive and focused, were applied and scrutinized from every conceivable direction -- she sighed restlessly, unsatisfied until she'd ticked the very last one of all 360 degrees outlined in her approach.
Refrains of vowel and consonant usage were counted and recounted, syllables were measured by some Shakespearean-era cubit, and a frighteningly subtle balance between poetry and prose was weighed to the nearest hundredth of an ounce. Your girl name is somehow both flowing and poignant at every utterance.
The final sieve your girl name sifted through was a Google search. Michael Jackson's dancing feet replaced the "oo" in "Google" that day. Your mom, considering every feasible angle, knew that your name might already exist in some capacity out there in the world, the Internet. If there were positive or negative associations already built into your name, your mom wanted to know about them. She typed your name in quotes into the search box, hit enter, and waited the 0.22 seconds for the 128 results to settle. The very first result -- to your mom and dad's astonishment -- pulled up a parallel universe.
They sat and watched a video following the birth of a baby girl already bearing your name, birthed by a woman that shared too many of your mom's facial features. Volume muted, your mom and dad gaped at what was apparently some Twilight Zone-fashioned future in which you are already an Internet sensation, born to a woman that could passably serve as your mom's sister or Hollywood stunt double. Unshaken, your mom kept the girl name she fashioned for you.
"The possibility of the baby being a girl is finally real," your mom said. Before then, your boy name was all your mom and dad could see, and you being a boy was all your mom and dad could picture. But now you have two fully-realized names, not to mention your codename used with friends and family during your gestation, a situation that will prove vexing to you for only five-and-a-half more months. But until then, rest assured knowing that your name, boy or girl, was shaped by masterful wordsmiths.
