Your dad could tell you were peeking. Usually, your eyes are closed, your prayers simple. "Dear Jesus, thank you for today and thank you for food. Amen."
But tonight it sounded like, "Dear Jesus, thank you for today and for hot dogs and for hot dog bread and for ketchup and for mustard and for cheese and for water and for plates and for napkins and for..."
Your dad opened his eyes and saw your hands folded but your eyes wandering up and down the dinner table. "That's good," he said. "That's plenty."
"Amen," you said.
Your dad wondered if it was "good," really. If that was "plenty," or if you were on the right track. He wondered if it was a poor decision cutting you off.
Your dad has been cutting off his prayers lately. They've turned more into checklists than conversations with God. If he was really talking to God, it might sound more like this:
"Dear Jesus," he'd say, "sorry I ignored you in church, today. Loved the bluegrass music. But I needed gum for my coffee breath, and I was looking for my wife's keys, so I moved her jacket, she grabbed it because it was time to take Estelle to the nursery, and then I asked her, 'Why you being grabby?'
"Then, after church, she told me how a close friend was revealing the name of her newborn child to certain groups of people, but not to others, and then to others within certain groups but not all, and I cut in with a, 'Well, now you see how silly we sounded when we did that exact same thing,' which was false. We revealed Estelle's name to our parents first and then to everyone else second. That's it, Jesus. No other shenanigans, but I was cocked for another jab and had to throw something.
"Then, right after Estelle's dinner prayer, she grabbed her glass of water and downed it. Just drank the whole thing like she'd never had water in her life. And I looked at my wife and said, 'Why is she drinking like she's never had water in her life. She's obviously dehydrated' And my wife said, 'She's not dehydrated. She had a full glass of milk just before she had this water, and she's been drinking throughout the day, too.' And I said, 'Well, her lips are chapped and peeling, so it's obvious to me that she's dehydrated.' Then my wife said, 'Yep. You're right. She's dehydrated.' And then, Jesus, I ate my hot dog in silence, got up from the table, went over to the fireplace, and sat with my back to my wife and daughter for the rest of dinner.
"We put Estelle to bed, then my wife left to buy an overdue pair of shoes, then came back with a box of chocolate truffles to share with me. My stomach now hurts from eating half the box. Thank you, Jesus, for hooking me up with her. Amen."
